Most people don’t like conflict.  In fact, I think most people look for ways to reduce conflict in their lives.

The entire point of mediation is to resolve conflict.   That is also the societal basis for our civil court system.  The courts give a forum to people who have claims and disputes so that in the framework of the law the claims and disputes can be resolved.   Of course, the key difference is that the court imposes a result whereas the parties in mediation in a very real way chose their own result.

In mediation, the conflict between a couple can be a source of creativity.    While mediators try to help the parties resolve all the conflicts presented, resolution of conflicts can occur when the parties understand that they are valuing things differently and sometimes they are valuing different things entirely.

A well-handled conflict  puts the parties in a better position to resolve the future conflicts that will invariably arise when they continue to share financial tie and parenting responsibilities.


Scott Allen has practicing law since 1994 and has counseled hundreds of clients through settlement and has litigated hundreds of cases.   Scott is available for consultation or representation by emailing or calling (919) 863-4183 to schedule an appointment.