Raleigh Child Custody Attorney Scott Allen on Settling Child Custody

Child custody decisions are often the most difficult part of any divorce.  I get asked this question all the time:  “Scott, should I settle my child custody case?” I always say yes, settle child custody  if you can.

Why you should try to settle your Raleigh child custody case.

It is best for child custody cases to settle.  Whether you have a North Carolina child custody case or you are in another state, take my word for it:  you really should want to settle your child custody case.

I would not wish a child custody case on my worst enemy (I don’t think I have any enemies, but if I had one I wouldn’t wish it on him or her).  Why?  Because child custody cases stink.  They mess up children, they mess up relationships, and they cost a lot of emotional and financial resources.

Focus on the Best Interest of the Child.

Parents should look beyond their personal feelings and look at what their children need and work together as parents to help their children.  The “best interest” standard is the same concept the district court judge considers in a child custody case.  If both parents focused on their children’s needs rather than the parents wants or desires, the children would always be better off.

Invariably, I say these things and I hear the following: “Scott, I would settle if he/she would just be reasonable” or “what he/she is suggesting for custody is not good for the kids.”  I try to then point out that the other parent is likely saying the same thing to his/her lawyer about you.  That usually does not go over well, but I encourage my clients to see the world from the other parent’s point of view.

Can every Raleigh child custody case be settled?

I try to get parents to see the value in working out their custody issues.  Nonetheless, they sometimes don’t or won’t settle.  However, not every case can be settled because sometimes the parents’ views are simply irreconcilable, and a judge must make a decision.  Additionally, some parents engage in parental alienation. Some clients do listen to my advice and try to settle but their spouses or ex-spouses are not listening to their attorneys.  Sometimes a parent has a substance abuse problem or some psychological problem that makes settlement impossible.

Who should I call if I need help with a Raleigh child custody case?

As I write elsewhere, you should talk to at least two different Raleigh divorce lawyers before you decide upon who to hire.  If you want to talk to me about your case and possible representation, call me at (919) 863-4183 or email at sallen@allenspence.com.