Whether you are litigating or trying to settle issues of child custody, equitable distribution, alimony, or child support, putting your best case on is important. The issues at stake are about your children and financial security and you do not want to have any regrets.
Below are suggestions to help you do as well as possible whether you are litigating your case or trying to settle it.
- Make Sure Your Attorney Knows All the Facts: Never leave out critical facts because you believe they are embarrassing to tell your attorney. Remember, the other side may bring these up and you do not want your lawyer to be surprised or unprepared because you did not warn him in advance. Tell your lawyer everything.
- Take Care of Your Responsibilities While the Case is Pending: Courts do not react well to destructive actions aimed at hurting your spouse. Withholding support, allowing the utilities to be cut off, not paying the mortgage… these are all destructive acts that courts do not like.
- Control Your Online Presence: Do not post negative, vicious, threatening, or other comments about your spouse, your divorce, or the process. Do not post anything that you would not be okay with the judge reading. be very careful in posting photographs of your children online. In the past I have suggested not to post children’s photos at all, but if you carefully monitor the content and your privacy settings, judges are not inherently against the idea since many people use this as a way to share photos with family. You should assume that anything you post online may be brought up in court. The safest approach is simply to stop using social media until your case is settled or a judge makes a decision.
- Timely Comply With Court Rules and Discovery Requests: Wake County has extensive local rules that require documents and information to be turned over. Also, nearly every case will have discovery requests from both side where documents, photographs, diaries, calendar, and journals are requested. You are required to comply with the local rules in your jurisdiction and legitimate discovery requests.. Be careful, because if you do not timely provide the documents and information requested you will likely be sanctioned by the court. Sanctions can consist of attorney fee awards, contempt of court, and/or the court preventing you from putting on evidence.
- Email, Texts, and Phone Records: In most cases where there are allegations of wrongdoing there will be requests for email, text messages and phone records. The attorney may also request to make a duplicate image of your computer hard drive to obtain all of the files and data on it. When faced with this prospect many people attempt to get rid of the contents of their computer. Destruction of potential evidence is a bad idea.
- Depositions: In many cases each party’s deposition will be taken. A deposition is a proceeding that takes place in one of the attorney’s offices where your sworn testimony is taken. Depositions are important. Your deposition may be used at trial to raise questions of your credibility if you testify differently at trial than you did in deposition. You should prepare carefully for your deposition with your attorney.
- Dress appropriately for court and mediations: This means a suit and tie for men and a conservative suit, dress or skirt and blouse for women.
- Follow the Rules of Decorum: Turn your phone off. Don’t wear a baseball cap. Do no chew gum. Be respectful to the judge, the clerks of court, opposing counsel, and your spouse. Everything you do in the courtroom is visible to the judge, and judges watch behavior carefully.
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Scott Allen is a divorce attorney in Raleigh, NC with over nineteen years of experience in all areas of family law litigation and settlement. He can be reached at 919.863.4183.